Why to Bring Your Flask When Your Wife Wins Tickets to the Ballet

A classical music concert can be invigorating, and an opera can be exciting, and there’s often a murder or a suicide in an opera, if not both! But when your wife wants to go to the ballet, you BETTER bring your flask filled-up with your favorite brain-numbing liquid inside. Have you ever been to the ballet? I didn't think so...but you can trust me when I say that you will need your flask. 
[caption id="attachment_1238" align="aligncenter" width="300"]ballet - ross housewright Credit: Ross Housewright[/caption]
Some of the women dancers can be appealing, but others might be androgynous, and you may not be able to tell the men from the women. But after about ten minutes, you may be glancing at your watch about every two and a half minutes, just like a high school student during the last day of school.
Luckily, if you have your filled flask handy, you can excuse yourself, take a walk towards the Men's room, and when you find a quiet spot, take a big gulp of your favorite medicine! You might have a few gulps, before returning to your seat, where the wife may be laughing, crying, or smiling from ear to ear, and you think to yourself, “This looks like the same dance as before.” Then you get up, excuse yourself again, and head off for another nip to get you through the night! Getting caught drinking from a flask, however, is not a good thing, which is why a key-chain flask might be a good idea for us neurotic types.
keychain flasks
It is your duty to accompany your spouse to the ballet. Of course, the ballet may seem like it goes on forever, but with your handy hip flask in tow, you should be able to make it through okay. With any luck, no one will notice as you become increasingly jolly throughout the performance! And if they do, you can tell them that you’re high on the music and excitement of the show! The best part is, your wife will love you more for it!
[caption id="attachment_1239" align="aligncenter" width="300"]flask drink - dioboss Credit: Flickr (Username: Dioboss)[/caption]
So, my friend, that’s why you need to bring your flask when your wife wins tickets to the ballet! It will make an otherwise brutal experience into something somewhat manageable, and possibly even fun. Cheers!
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