When You Can Watch Live News, Why Bother Reading the Newspaper?

[caption id="attachment_821" align="alignright" width="300"]Newspaper Stack Photo Credit: Binuri Ranasinghe[/caption]
Why would you ever go through all the trouble to read the newspaper when we live an age when you can just watch the news on television?? It's so much harder to do extraneous tasks while you read the paper. This can all be solved, however, by simply making the decision to sit down in front of the tube and watch your news instead!
If you have your faithful flask by your side, that just makes the whole situation that much better. Besides, life is too short to deny yourself the simple pleasures, and maybe you're the kind of person who finds pleasure in being able to have a sip of something stiff whenever you please. Ain't nothing wrong with that! Who cares what anyone else thinks or says about it... right? Heck, If Ernest Hemingway could drink what he wanted, when he wanted, then so can YOU! Who knows, you might even write the next great American novel. For real.
But in the meantime, there is seriously no need to read the newspaper. It's so outdated and it gets ink all over your fingers. You also have to go through the trouble of rustling through pages and trying to read all of that small print (which you know gets smaller by the year). The kicker is this: by the time the newspaper is published, printed, and delivered to your local corner store, the news therein isn't even relevant anymore! It's already hours old! WHY GO THROUGH ALL OF THIS WHEN YOU CAN JUST TURN ON THE TV?!
[caption id="attachment_823" align="alignleft" width="300"]Watching TV 1950's Photo Credit: Paul Townsend[/caption]
You can turn on the television, put on one of three thousand cable news channels, and watch 'til your heart’s content. You can pull out your handy flask, and have some refreshment as you steadfastly eat up all the propaganda that the government and the media spoon feeds the public (I'm really not judging. I watch it too.)
In between news segments, you are usually treated to those crazy ads that they always show on TV. You can laugh at the antics of celebrities as they have difficulty dealing with their privileged lives. Oh, those poor, lost souls. They make out like bandits, they have fame and fortune, yet many of them are miserable. Maybe it’s because they do not have a flask! Even if they did, they would never have a quiet moment to truly enjoy a sip from it. The same applies for the high profile sports figures; they have no privacy. I guess that's a small price to pay for living your dreams of being a pro-athlete.
Perhaps you're better off not being in the spotlight. Normal folk like you and I are able to appreciate the simple pleasures in life, like having and using a flask. If the kids drag you to McDonald’s for a Happy Meal, you can get a coke and dump some rum into it from your handy flask. That's how us simple folk roll!
As for that newspaper we mentioned earlier, it can do good service lining the bottom of the birdcage, where it belongs.
Disclaimer: The crew at Flasks.com are avid proponents of reading. We read profusely. Just not newspapers. We're not so into newspapers, if you haven't noticed.
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